that filthy bathtub

that filthy bathtub


we’re hiding in the bathtub
I’m naïve to her past
her life beginning
just as I took my first breath of air

beneath the warm hugs
behind the old jewelry box
sealed in the rigid lockbox of her mind
my grandmother’s nightmare resides

working overtime, all of the time
Adultery.
a string of insults fired like a machine gun
Verbal abuse.
all of that time, and now all alone
Divorce.

the secret surfs my bloodstream
on a nauseous wave
tainting the secretive moment
and leaving a ring of pain around the bathtub
something’s hidden
between the preserved teeth of her smile
something so broken, she will never be fixed

And I now know.

Soul Shaker

~ For Pudge

The Fire Tamer
The Urban Cowboy
The Lava Walker
Running in
When we’re running out
An explosive flash
Thrown through the air
Eyebrows burned off
Charging back in
To carry a dead child out
With a tear on his chin
He’ll do it again
Tomorrow

Jack and the B52

Jack and the B52

There are giants in the sky

The unmistakable hum cuts through the clouds
Brilliant wingspans stretch to clip the sunlight
Seeking palm trees and foreign jewelry

The golden harp is stolen

Seeking to cease beating hearts
Oversized shadows loom overhead
The forced shudder of machine guns spilling blood

There are big, tall, terrible giants in the sky





*just a strange cross between airplanes and one of my favorite musicals, Into the Woods.

Sestina of a Hero

Sestina of a Hero

He never wanted to play the part of the hero.
He was never trying to fight the good fight.
He was just trying to live his life.
He was trying to make it into a thing of dreams.
He did not go looking for the darkness.
He only went looking for a reason to survive.

It will always come down to one’s will to survive.
Too many believe it is the courage of the hero
That allows him to battle through the darkness
And that allows him to eternally fight.
But that belief is nothing more than dreams;
The hero wants nothing more than to protect his own life.

Or is it? Is it his life? Or is it her life?
Maybe it is because without her he cannot not survive;
Without her has no dreams left to dream.
He has no choice but to dive in as the hero
Because if he loses her in the fight,
He will lose himself in the darkness.

Maybe the world is so completely filled with darkness
That finding meaning in just one life
Is enough reason to fight,
Enough reason to survive,
Enough reason to be the hero,
And enough reason to dream.

I wonder what it is that he dreams…
Of tender hours spent passionately kissing her in the darkness?
Of being their child’s protector and hero?
Of growing old together till the end of and beyond life?
Of always holding her hand no matter the struggle to survive?
Of apologetic and remorseful kisses after their first fight?

That’s worth the fight.
It must be his dreams.
That’s the reason he struggles to survive.
Because he sees a light in the darkness.
Because suddenly there is meaning to his life.
And for the first time ever, he is somebody’s hero.

The life of a hero;
Through the darkness he fights,
Through his dreams he survives.

Mr. Webster

Dear Mr. Webster,

1 week
2 days
11 hours
33 minutes &
47 seconds
Into this relationship
You have failed me.
225,000 words are not enough.

Define:
To Like –
1. To be suitable or agreeable to
2. To feel toward

Define:
To Love –
1. To hold dear: cherish.
2. To feel a lover's passion, devotion, or tenderness for.
3. Unselfish, loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another.
4. Attraction based on sexual desire.
5. Warm attachment, enthusiasm, or devotion.

So what is it?
Do I like her?
I like pizza.
I like playing cards.
I like a cold beer.
Certainly she means more than that.
Do I love her?
Maybe it is too soon to know
Just where this is headed
So at this very moment
Might that be too much?

Yet if I more than like her,
But I’m not supposed to love her,
Do I love/like her?
Do I loke her?

What is there in between?
Adore – Fancy – Respect
Treasure – Value – Want
Need – Covet – Crave

No, Mr. Webster,
I do believe
You have let me down.

Sincerely,

Speechless

I am crying in the bathroom

*villanelle with borrowed line from sufjan stevens the great :]*



I am crying in the bathroom

On the floor at the great divide
speckled marble conquers cotton to cool my knees
with my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied

Desperate to preserve your scent, I tried
the sterile lilac reflection was enough to freeze
on the floor at the great divide

The textbooks, the nurses, the doctors, they lied
my volume of tears belittles the grandest of seas
with my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied

Now the door’s locked tight and I’m still inside
only the predictable linoleum sinks to witness my please
On the floor at the great divide
with my shirt tucked in and my shoes untied

This is something I've really wanted to get out there for a while. I came across this the other day when I was looking for places to share poetry at in the area. I was expecting to find coffee houses with someone beating on the bongos, the stereotypical TV version and I think the way it was featured on "Boy Meets World." I figured Mr. Feeny can't be wrong, right? Well what I found was what's called poetry Slams. In my opinion, this stuff is insane. I've been doing some research on it and its amazing. People compete across the world to be the master of "spoken word". A lot of times the judges are picked out of the audience - how cool is that? Five judges score the poets from 1-10, and the highest and lowest scores are dropped. Then the lowest scoring half of poets are dropped at the end of each round. Essentially, half the poets are cut each round until there is a winner. I've posted my favorite video yet below, I really think it's amazing. The poem is called "Scratch and Dent", and its spoken by Eric Darby. Before you dismiss the video as some hippy and boring recitation of poem, give it a listen. It's... almost a spoken word rap, but better cuz the messages in Slam Poetry are often positive and uplifting while observing the world we live in. It's hard to describe, but it is an incredibly energizing style of poetry and incredibly impressive. Much different than what we learn in school, but i like it! Check it out!



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